How it Started
In 2023, I created the YOU ChooseDay feature, where I wrote short stories based on random prompts. I got clever about it and asked my Instagram followers to vote on them. The winning prompts for this story were:
Character: Tax Office Worker
Situation: Accidentally married a criminal
Object: Wine bottle
Setting: Country estate
As random as it gets, right?
The Published Story
If you haven't read the story yet, go ahead, I'll wait. It's a 24-minute read, but you won't regret it.
You want more, right? Even me. And everyone who read it at the time agreed with us. There are so many elements in the story that could be expanded on, especially the fact that John and Vincent had the same date of birth and ID number. But also the transition of Janet to Alexandra and exactly how that played out. I knew then that I had to give it a go as a novel.
Take 1 — I Pantsed It
You know the term “by the seat of my pants”? Well, in writing when you're known as a pantser, you just write as it comes into your head and don't do any planning. I jumped straight into NaNoWriMo the next month, managed to reach the 50 000 word goal, and continued to write past 70 000 words. But, I got stuck. I didn't know how I wanted the story to end or how the main conflict would be resolved. The middle just became a rambled filler of events that didn't seem to be taking the story anywhere.
Take 2 — I Plotted It
Since the pantsing didn't work, I needed a different approach. I stuck notes of paper on my closet doors outlining the Hero's Journey, then added different coloured note paper with the highlights of each section. Some notes were for characters and some for settings, and I could see the whole story unfold towards a goal.
Correction — 3 goals. 3 possible main plots and endings appeared as I was plotting the story. 1 could result in a sequel, 1 in a spin-off, and 1 would just end right there. I figured the right ending would become obvious as I wrote.
I tried to rewrite the existing story with the aforesaid changes and ended up in an editing frenzy, and confused myself so much I lost the plot completely.
Take 3 — I Put Baby In the Corner
Every day, I tortured myself with the closet doors and the coloured notes, seeing the story right there in front of me, but I couldn't figure out how to get there. So the story waited, and I paced, and still, I didn't know how to move forward.
The 3 endings haunted me because somehow I had to leave breadcrumbs along the way that would allow for each scenario to play out, but they were so different. In one chapter I would find a great way to tie in 1 ending, but it would exclude the others, then I felt pressured to continue in that direction. Later, another ending demanded to be front and centre, throwing out the previous build up.
It was all too overwhelming, so I did what any AuDHDer would do in this situation — ignore it altogether.
Take 4 — Here We Go Again
And by We I mean me. One morning early in 2025 (almost a year later), I woke up with a clear idea of how I would like to end the story. It was evil, and shocking, and just perfect. But it also meant... I had to start over.
First the Hero's Journey moved to felt notice boards upstairs in the loft and I re-outlined the story with the new main plot and conclusion in mind. I started writing with pen and paper, 1 chapter at at a time. 5 chapters wrote themselves effortlessly, and then baby went back into the corner.
Take 5 — I Came Back to Writing Because of Boxing
I should also mention that I stopped writing because of boxing too. From April 2025 I started training as a professional boxer. It took all my energy and kicked my ass. It became clear that I only had capacity for 1 thing outside of work, and I chose boxing (for good reasons that I'll share too). I didn't want it to be another hyper-fixation that I throw everything into only to let it fizzle out (you know, the typical AuDHD way of jumping from 1 thing to another).
I lived and breathed boxing for seven months, and just the other day I woke up feeling like something was missing. One of my cups wasn't being filled. Suddenly, I had room in my life for writing in addition to boxing, and thankfully not instead of.
The Next Steps
Although I could never forget the story — it's like a move that plays over and over in my head — I'm taking the time to review the chapters. I'm applying the discipline I learned from boxing into how I tackle the writing — there's a story to tell, and I'm committed to getting it down on paper. Grace has a part to play too. Currently, there's no deadline, only an intention of writing at least 1 chapter per week.
The Lessons
Every journey teaches us things, techniques and skills, but also about ourselves. This is what I've learned specifically while writing this book.
- The Hero's Journey helps me build suspense and release it. Without this, I would just write a lot of words that don't say anything of value.
- The chapter outline helps me keep the story moving forward, layering the main and sub-plots. I'm prone to digressing, taking the scenic route when I tell a story, so this way I stick to the plan. Sort of.
- Would you believe that I only like black ink? Blue ink gives me the ick.
- I have to write with pen on paper, and I write in cursive. My easily distracted brain sees the red, green, and blue underlined words on the typed page and instead of writing I edit. When I handwrite, I couldn't be bothered to edit.
Watch This Space
Occasionally, I'll post an update. Maybe I'll add a chapter tracker somewhere... I've learned, though, that while I really want to write this book, talking too much about it feels like pressure from my own and others' expectations. So yes, watch this space for updates, but understand too that the book, and me, are works in progress. We're here for the journey as much as we are for the outcome.
PS - as I was writing this post, it occurred to me that I could share my tools. I'll put them together and create a section where you can find whatever I refer to in my posts that might be of use.