This week, I caught up on the latest season of Love is Blind UK.

Yes, I love the show. No, I am not a hopeless romantic.

Or maybe I am.

What actually keeps me watching is the sheer honesty of people. Or their total lack of self-awareness. The show has evolved. Initially, we saw people genuinely seeking love (think Lauren and Cameron from Season 1). Then came the participants who were entirely unaware of their role in previous relationship failures (we won't name names).

Naturally, it became a launchpad for careers, with people entering for fame rather than romance. We saw some real toxicity too. But I reckon we all recognised bits of ourselves in someone on that screen. Good or bad.

Now, after plenty of contestants have been outed for seeking clout, it feels like more participants are actually mature and self-aware. They understand who they are and what they want. Of course, as is the way with the human condition, sometimes we don't realise we’re the problem until we’re thrown into an environment that triggers us.

Before the new episodes drop tonight, I want to share my thoughts on one specific couple before whatever happens next changes my mind.

(Consider yourself warned: spoilers ahead.)

I really like Jack and Faye as a couple. He is all ADHD energy: fun-loving, goofy, and someone who has clearly gone through enough life experience to understand himself. He makes no excuses for who he is. She is gorgeous, kind, and totally together (which is probably the highest compliment I can give a person).

At times, I wondered if it was love-bombing, but they genuinely seem to care for each other. I have high hopes for them because she understands him, and he worships the ground she walks on.

On the last released episode, though, they had a wobble. Faye, like probably 99.9% of women, has some baggage. (I’m not including stats for men here because I’m not one, and frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.) Baggage isn't always bad. That baggage keeps us safe, or maybe allows us to show up better for ourselves and our partners. Baggage is really just history. It’s what makes us who we are right now.

To summarise: Jack went for a several-hour walk off the grid. That was his story. It happened right after her birthday party (where everything had gone wonderfully) and she woke up unable to find him or track his phone. Her trust was instantly tested.

He returned, stating he needed space and time. What we saw on camera was a triggered woman and a man who didn't understand why he needed to explain himself. Once they sat down to talk, he explained that he needed to clear his head, that things felt overwhelming, and that he couldn't sleep. It wasn't about hiding from her specifically; he just needed to unplug.

Then he apologised, and his honesty actually shook me.

He said he was sorry and that he didn't mean to hurt her, but that he’s an idiot, so he will likely mess up again. Not intentionally, but simply because he isn't perfect.

I don't know about you, but if a man said that to me instead of lying, making excuses, or making empty promises to “never do it again,” I would feel seen, respected, and loved.

(She accepted his apology, they made up, and now we wait to see if she can truly move past it.)

The very next day, I had a conversation with a friend who is a polygamist. (We’ll do a proper unpacking of monogamy versus polygamy another time.) He told me, "Women love the lies," claiming he’d much rather be honest, but women prefer to be lied to.

I am a truth-seeker. In all things.

I would rather you tell me what you did than have me find out from someone else. I don't expect anyone to be perfect.

But if you choose to lie, or if I find out through the grapevine, it rocks me to my core. It means our foundation was built on air. If you can lie about a mistake, I can't trust that anything before that moment was real. A relationship cannot survive on a broken foundation.

If you tell me the truth, I might get mad or cry, and I am fully entitled to my reaction and the time I need to process it. But then I get to determine if the mistake can be forgiven.

One mistake doesn't define a person. Repeated mistakes (which are chosen behaviours without remedy) destroy a relationship.

Back to the human condition: when people choose lies, they are trying to hold on to a fantasy they built in their heads. They don't want to face reality or risk losing someone. But at what cost?

By lying to me, you take away my agency. You make me look stupid for trusting you.

By telling me the truth (no matter how I react) you give me the choice to either stand by the relationship or walk away. I get to weigh my options and decide how we move forward. When lied to, I’m forced to take the harshest course of action because I was never given the chance to help repair the damage.

We’re all human. We make mistakes. We inherit different cultures, traditions, and habits, and then we have to navigate a world full of new ones. What seems normal to one person might offend another. If we have never experienced something, how can we be expected to automatically know how to handle the situation when it comes up?

Instead of the games people play (the playing hard-to-get, the "playing it cool" facade, the pretence of being someone we’re not) what if we just said what we meant, and actually meant what we said?