I keep wanting to post this. I keep wanting to share my views and have the conversation, but then I work through bits of it and realise I’m still unresolved. I think that means this is a "Part 1." It’s a work in progress, much like my sanity on a Wednesday afternoon.

My hesitation to close off this particular Creativity Killer is because I truly, deeply resent having to be on social media. I hate the "tax" of advertising myself with clever marketing or "hooks" just to keep you interested.

And believe me, it’s not you—I love having you on board and seeing what I put out there. It’s my inner rebellion. I have this stubborn streak where if I feel I have to do something, I immediately don’t want to.

The Administrative Bloat

I want to engage on a fun new topic, but I don’t want to do an Instagram post about the blog post. It annoys me. Instead of spending my time writing the next story, I’m stuck making "content pieces."

Remember to do a launch post.
Then share to stories.
Then do a follow-up with a clever quote I said.
Then do a carousel.
Or a reel. (Lord, help me with the reels.)

It’s a lot.

Unless I have a "Social Media Fairy" following me around taking notes, it’s overwhelming. I work full-time. I box every day. I chair my complex’s Body Corporate. I’m a mother, a grandmother, a partner. I would love to just write and have the ideas get out there by magic. I want the conversations—I love hearing other viewpoints—but I want those discussions to magic themselves into my life, too.

The ADHD "Ghost Post"

Add in the ADHD brain, and the push-pull becomes a comedy of errors. Sometimes I think about a post so much that I convince myself I’ve already shared it. I do this with message replies, too.

A week later, I’ll look at my feed and realise I never did any of the things I spent three hours obsessing over.

Why isn't AI at the point where it just pulls the prompts from my mind? Why am I still doing uploads?

The "Drama Llama" and the Assholery

Then, there’s the people part. People can make your experience wonderful, or they can be absolute trolls.

I have zero tolerance for assholery. Not in my personal life, not in the workplace, and certainly not as a witness out in public. I’ll speak up, but I’d much rather live in a world where I didn't have to. When I contemplate posting, I’m often put off by the potential for unwanted attention.

I’ve had an ex who was so insecure he took offence to me following tattoo pages because they had "half-naked men"—ignoring the fact that half-naked women were on the same page. I’ve had an ex-of-an-ex harass me because she didn't want to accept she was an "ex."

I don’t want to engage in "educating" these people or referring them to therapy. That uses energy I don't want to give. Their self-loathing is bleeding out, and I don't want it on my beautiful life.

Thando, Influencers, and Sheep

I struggle with what to post when I do show up. I can share my cat, Thando, every single day—he’s a big part of my life—but he isn't the reason I write. I can share my plants or my car, but then I feel like I’m leaning into "influencer vibes," and that is never the aim.

I want to tell stories.
I want to challenge the status quo.
I want to know why we do the things we do just because someone before us did.
Why are we all following like sheep?

The "Read Receipts Off" Philosophy

I’m trying to apply my WhatsApp logic to social media. My read receipts are off because "I said what I said." I didn’t say it to get a response; I said it because it was true.

This reduces the disappointment and the anxiety of waiting for an answer or wondering if I was received correctly.

Goal: Just post. Just move forward. No second-guessing.

The Airstream Dream

There are days when I want to be super social and change the world. And then there are days when I want to sell my house, buy an Airstream, and park it in the middle of the woods by a lake or a stream. Just check out. Enjoy the peace and quiet and not "people" anymore.

Until then, I’m here. Unresolved, a bit salty, but still writing.
Hopefully, in Part 2 I can share some ways to overcome the resentment of social media.